Being a gentleman isn’t a personality quirk. It’s not something you turn on and off like a switch. It’s a lifestyle.

A true gentleman is respectful to everyone in his orbit, from women he’d like to date to elderly people who need help with their groceries. He takes impeccable care of his appearance, is polite to everyone who deserves it, and is kind to women regardless of whether or not he thinks he has a chance with them. To be a true gentleman, you need to be self-aware, mature, and courteous. 

“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.”

Here are some tips for every man being a gentleman.

Be Clear About What You Want

Not making a decision is a decision in itself, and it’s not a good one! If you want the respect of others, know what you want and what you don’t, and be clear about it. Knowing how to say no is one of the most well-respected things you can do for yourself.

You don’t want to be a wishy-washy person who constantly flakes on those you care about because you over-commit, and you certainly don’t want to be the guy with no opinion or backbone.

If You Do Nothing Else, Just Keep Your Radar Up. 

Gentlemen have a sixth sense. They recognize situations that may require them to swoop in and save the day. That woman with the baby stroller? She might need a door held. That man with the walker? He might need a hand navigating those steps. You’re thirsty waiting for dinner to come? Then it’s likely everyone else at your table is too.

As gentlemen (and women), we strive to make others feel taken care of. Keep that in mind, use common sense, and you probably won’t need to remember any silly rules — although some of the rules may surprise you.

Avoid Any Offensive Actions In Public. 

If you’re in public, then you should avoid farting, belching, speaking too loudly, being overly demanding, grabbing your crotch, or getting too drunk. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind. If you do lose control, however, it’s important to apologize instead of acting like nothing happened.

• Remember that a true gentleman is a person who can go out in public without making a scene or embarrassing himself.
• Self-awareness is a key part of being a gentleman. Always consider how others may perceive you, and be aware of how your actions may be considered offensive.

Define Your Personal Style

When I hear “gentleman” I think suit, tie, polished shoes… and stuffy. Seriously, I just fell asleep thinking about it.

Luckily, the definition has evolved and isn’t attached to a certain look anymore – it’s all about attitude and how you carry yourself. Choose a personal style that reflects your personality and lifestyle. Don’t buy clothes you think you should, otherwise you may as well wear a sandwich board that says I have no idea who I am!

Help The People Around You

Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help people get their grocery bags to the car. You don’t have to go overboard and risk hurting yourself (e.g. if you’ve got a precarious grip on something heavy, don’t open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. True gentlemen don’t only focus on the women they like and ignore everyone else; being a gentleman is a way of approaching the world and all of the people in it, not just the ones you’d like to date. Be on the lookout for people who could use some help but who may not want to ask for it. The man carrying a tray of coffee would love it if you opened the door for him, but he may not ask.

Call Women You Don’t Know “Miss” or “Ma’am” Until They Tell You Otherwise 

The age of using pet names with women you don’t know is long over. While some women will still call you “love,” “sweetie,” or “doll” (especially those working in hospitality) you don’t get to do the same until you have established some level of familiarity.

My rule of thumb on choosing between Miss and Ma’am is: If she’s old enough to be my mother, or if I KNOW she’s someone’s mother, I go with Ma’am. Although calling a woman who could be my grandmother “miss” or addressing a pair of elderly women as “ladies” or even “girls” normally gets a warm giggle.

Keep Your Hygiene in Check

Put effort into your appearance. Keep yourself clean, showered, and groomed. Women do enjoy scruffy, but controlled scruffy – you don’t want your date asking where you hid your cardboard sign and paper cup.

Treat Everyone With Respect

Being a gentleman doesn’t just mean being polite and courteous to women; it means being respectful to other men, to the elderly, and even to children. A true gentleman shouldn’t be able to turn his charm on and off, and he should be kind and respectful to absolutely everyone who deserves it. Respect a person’s space by not standing too close when you talk to him or her.

Respect a person’s privacy by not peering over his or her shoulder or asking too many personal questions. The key is to make people feel comfortable and good about themselves, not like they’re being mistreated.

“Being a gentleman is a lifestyle. You must live it, not just simply act like one when needed.”

Thanks for reading!!